


The Problem with Marriage

by tokaku



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Erwin is not really oblivious, Gen, M/M, but maybe he has selective blindness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:45:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokaku/pseuds/tokaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin's mother tries to arrange a marriage for him, and Erwin's stress levels reach a height previously reached only when he was out in the field.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a fill for this: http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/2124.html?thread=1711948, but it went out of control. Also, I just saw the Q&A with Isayama, where he says Erwin isn’t married because he doesn’t know when he’ll die. I’m thinking it has more to do with politics, Erwin being paranoid, and the fact he’s already married, only he doesn’t know it yet. Might be sort of cracky.

The problem arrived in a scented letter that Nanaba delivered nervously along with new personnel files and reports, and a neatly wrapped box tied with a ridiculous bow that Erwin groaned at, expecting the worst. The papers went into the neat pile Erwin was already reading through, and Nanaba placed the box on the table, putting the letter on top of it. He said, almost hesitantly, “These came together this morning.”

“I see.” Erwin was trying to muster up a civil word of thanks when Nanaba continued, “Squad Leader Mike said…if you’re interested…he’s in charge of afternoon drills, but this evening, he said, if you wanted to drink together…” 

Nanaba sounded as if he didn’t think that was a good idea, whatever Mike told him about extending such an invitation to his superiors over work. Levi was sitting on the couch in Erwin’s office, drinking tea from his cup with his fingers closed over the rim. He looked over the back of his hand at Erwin, seemed to find nothing interesting with the short exchange, and went back to sipping his tea as Nanaba took his leave. 

Erwin finished signing a paper, and put it in one corner with the reports he had read, reaching over the box and the letter to do so. Erwin smelled the tea faintly as Levi wandered with his cup to Erwin’s table and pulled out the latest reports, which Levi took with him back to the couch. 

“Balm mint?” Erwin said with some amusement. Levi had come in earlier with a pot of tea and a tray of neatly cut sandwiches, but put pot and tray down on the low table in front of the couch. It was as close to an order as possible from Levi for Erwin to stop for a while and eat with him. Erwin’s stomach growled at the reminder of missed breakfast. “A headache this early?”

Levi did not look at him, and said, voice not as sullen as Erwin expected, “It’s your tea.” He looked at Erwin then. “You drink, too.”

“Perhaps. After I finish this.”

Levi only grunted, set his cup down and started reading quietly. Sometimes, Erwin missed the early days when Levi had to shape the words with his mouth, lips moving or, if he was thinking over a difficult word, teeth worrying at his lower lip. Now, his unique way of holding a cup aside, Levi looked trim, decorous, and behaved when Erwin brought him to court as a show horse if Erwin managed to appease him first. Levi did not like court; he liked his tea fuller and stronger, not pale with milk, though he had shown a certain liking for the sugar lumps that at times were a treat when they got out of the field.

Levi read through the first few pages with soldierly patience, then flipped through the remaining ones to the end, clicking his tongue. “This report is shit,” he said. “Too fucking honest. Told him he didn’t have to include the reason why the wagon tipped over, just that it did. You’re raising a bunch of too good kids here. The brass won’t like it.”

“Protective of your charges, aren’t you?” Erwin smiled easily, mind cataloguing names, faces. Some of the newer people assigned to the maintenance crew, a boy with a ragged haircut and a wide smile. “Was that Tuomas with the faulty wheel? We lost supplies when we had to abandon the wagon. He’s probably feeling guilty about it.”

“It’s his damn problem, sure. Shitty report’s going to make sure he can’t make up for it though. Give me a pen,” Levi said, and Erwin didn’t question him, but handed him a pen as Levi uncrossed his legs and frowned at the page he’s holding. Erwin gave him fresh paper too, and Levi nodded, then spent the better half of the next hour copying the boy’s sharp handwriting. The problem was not the brass, but the sponsors, who would likely not care if the boy had ended up swallowed by a titan, but would if they thought that the boy’s ineptitude wasted their donations. Erwin pored over another report, took care of new requisition papers. Levi brought him the modified report, and Erwin nodded once, thankful. 

Levi’s solid presence in front of the table made Erwin look up, glance at the letter now in Levi’s hand. The envelope was pristine white and quite out of place, the flap pressed closed with an official seal. His mother, Erwin guessed, suddenly tired.

“Do you want me to burn this.” Levi held the letter between his thumb and his first two fingers. He made no move to open it himself, and seemed to have only been reacting on instinct: Erwin didn’t like the letter, the letter was bad. Erwin shook his head and leaned back on his chair. 

“Probably my mother. Something worthy of a new scandal.”

“Marriage?” Levi asked, and Erwin looked at him, surprised. Levi shrugged one shoulder, looking at Erwin neutrally. Marriage probably seemed tamer given the sort of work they have had to handle these past weeks. The shadows under Levi’s eyes were darker and looked permanently etched in, and it occurred to Erwin that they have been working too hard. 

“Nothing unnatural about your mama trying to find you a bride,” Levi said, unforgivingly blunt as he always was. There was nothing conflicted about his gaze either, which was somehow unfair. When Levi put the letter down, Erwin grasped his wrist. That drew nothing more than a confused look, but at least Erwin felt Levi’s muscles shifting subtly, Levi fighting against a sudden shaky tension, and Erwin almost sighed in a relief that he did not spend too long trying to analyze. He let go, and Levi stayed there, questioning, not questioning.

“I am not the heir, you understand,” Erwin ventured to explain, “So there should be no pressing need for me to marry. However, the office of commander can seem, ah…unique to my family, a lively topic for parties. They have no use for it _yet_ , but I’m afraid that my mother must already be cultivating the idea.” Erwin gestured at the box, and he saw Levi’s lips twitch, just slightly, up.

“Sweetmeats?”

“Why don’t we see?” 

Needing no more invitation than that, Levi opened the box, pulling at the large ribbon and tearing the wrapping paper. Predictably, it was not food. Levi did not look visibly disappointed or annoyed, but the absence of a reaction was telling enough. He lifted out a pair of fine gloves (“You wear gloves, Erwin?”) and under that, several portraits on thick paper. Erwin almost blanched as Levi quickly lost interest in the gloves. He sat on Erwin’s desk and idly crossed his legs, shuffling through the portraits. Faces blurred past Erwin’s eyes, sometimes accurate but more often than not flattering. Levi stopped at one portrait. Erwin identified her quietly, frowning: “The duchess’ youngest daughter.”

“Good to start young, huh?” The deadpan joke almost made Erwin bristle; not at Levi, but the situation was similar to a young virgin being sacrificed to a dragon, and he started to tell Levi this, but then Levi looked at him, and did not remind him of the year they first met. Age had not meant much then, and Erwin had involved Levi in deaths that were probably less clean than anything humans could deliver to each other inside the wall. He’d seen the almost precise and neat work of Levi’s gang in Lower Sina, where being too slow to clean up or leave a body might mean having to bribe or being arrested by the Military Police. Death outside the wall involved flying limbs and bloated bodies in the summer, the sun showing every detail where the shadows in Lower Sina might have hidden messy murders. Erwin snapped his mouth shut.

“But I wonder what my mother promised for this…union to even be considered?” Erwin frowned down at the youthful aquiline face of the duchess’ daughter. He tried to imagine Levi posing for a portrait, like an infinitely bored cat, the artist making small mistakes under Levi’s glare. Perhaps it would be a little boy’s portrait, with a toy sword, a book, or sitting on the carpet and embracing a beloved family pet. Erwin might have liked to see Levi with the large black hound his family had kept before; they might have known to treat each other right. “My family is not that high up or well-connected. If I do marry the duchess’ daughter, that would secure funds for the Survey Corps, but the duchess has never expressed an interest in our goal, and neither does she need to impress anyone.”

“People change the way they think,” Levi answered after a while, “especially after they see results, right?” He patted Erwin’s bowed head with the edge of the portrait briefly. “You said that before, Erwin.”

It still surprised him, how well Levi remembered conversations. But then, given the attrition rate at the Survey Corps, Levi probably filed away everything people told him, every last word that could be final. It was probably not affection. Most of it was fear, but Erwin did not tell Levi not to be afraid.

“Regardless,” Erwin said, “this is highly irregular. I think I can understand Lady Charlus more.” That particular lady was well into her years, married once and in keeping of both her own and her deceased husband’s holdings. Levi frowned, probably not recognizing the name, and Erwin flipped briefly through the stack of portraits in Levi’s hands, lifting out Lady Charlus’ portrait and placing it on top of the pile. The portrait showed her massive figure, which was given a certain stateliness by the artist, in her arms a rather small dog wearing a thick choker of desperately huge jewels. It was a show of wealth that the oldest of Sina’s noble families found in bad taste. “There are people who might like the connection with the Survey Corps so their neighbors would have a better opinion of them.”

“So you’d rather marry this woman than that other girl?”

Erwin shook his head, feeling a dull ache at the base of his neck from bending over the papers too long. He idly contemplated asking Levi for a massage, but Levi looked at ease on the table, legs crossed and dangling off the edge, his pose relaxed though the slight cock of his head hinted at curiosity. “Her motivations are more transparent, that’s all.”

“So if you can tell what that duchess is thinking, you’d marry her daughter?”

“Well, it’s…very complicated.” Since his mother had given a list, Erwin could hope that nothing had been finalized yet. But when he’d looked through the portraits for the one of Lady Charlus, he’d seen that the duchess’ daughter was actually the last one. The placement was suspicious. Perhaps his mother had been counting on Erwin finding the selection appalling so he had to admit that the duchess’ daughter was the best choice when he came to the end? But that would mean that the duchess’ daughter was his mother’s real choice, and there might already be talks underway, gifts exchanged, plans made for them to meet, perhaps a lavish party that had been announced is for the girl’s engagement. He knew his mother to be very efficient, which made the situation troubling. Risky to accept anything, risky to outright refuse.

It wasn’t like he could rely on Levi for this though. Levi understood politics as someone who had lived in Sina’s underground, which surely had more than occasional dealings of a not quite legal nature with those above, but Levi disliked it. He called people whose judgment he questioned ‘pigs’ or worse, and he could rarely be subtle about anything. If forced to attend a party, Levi kept to the fringes as if he was more competent at smelling out lies than Mike. 

Ah, if it was Mike, he might have some advice.

Erwin looked up to see Levi glancing away as he placed the portraits back in the box and pushed the box to one side, as if he understood the matter was closed for now. Erwin lifted his pen again, but spared Levi one last look, taking in how his shoulders were squared as if Levi was ready to stand to attention, Levi’s eyes flatly gray with hardly any color or heat in them. “Levi, will you tell Mike I’m taking him up on his offer? I think we might need to make a plan.”

\--

Mike was not sympathetic when Erwin shared his misgivings. In fact, if Erwin had to guess, Mike was _amused_. “Thought it would only be a matter of time before you’re made to contemplate marriage,” Mike said. “Your family probably doesn’t want to think of you growing old all alone. It can affect the political sphere, but I think you should be seeing this as a family matter first.”

“It must be politics if my mother’s involved.” Mike had met Erwin’s mother, so he should know. Mike shrugged in a slow roll of shoulders, nose twitching. He brought the mug up and frowned. Erwin almost said something, his mouth trembling in a smile beyond his control when Mike rubbed at a tell-tale smudge that hinted at improper washing, but Mike looked sorrowfully at him.

“Kid grows on you,” Mike said, more of a challenge than an excuse. Erwin had to admit that Levi had spoiled them. Nobody before really expected cleanliness in the barracks, and the food the kitchen had produced before had been rather bad. Levi had assigned tasks and been quick to somehow find the best cooks of the Survey Corps, even getting help from some wives who were sympathetic to the Corps and were willing to take in batches of laundry and cook at times for a small wage. Most of the cleaning was taken care of by the soldiers though, led by Levi, who looked very unimpressed with how Erwin and his men had been getting by before him.

Mike raised his head and sniffed exaggeratedly, frowned at Erwin’s supposed scentlessness. Mike had always claimed he understood people through their smell, but Erwin didn’t understand how that worked. Levi had said it wasn’t anything special; in Lower Sina, you knew who was a mark as soon as they stepped in because of their smell, knew if they were afraid because their sweat smelled different. Levi had tried to explain to Erwin what killing intent felt like, too, apparently to get Erwin to be able to identify it, but Levi had not been too successful. Levi had been a little exasperated, and asked him why he couldn’t get it when Erwin sometimes radiated it himself.

“I don’t understand what you mean,” Erwin had answered honestly. “And if it’s killing intent, I think I’ve seen you frighten some recruits away with that. And quite enough of it the first times we met.”

“I’m not talking about something obvious as that. I’m talking someone hired by court shits, going up to you all friendly and giving you a new smile under your chin.”

“Oh, but you’re giving your presence too little credit! And with you, I am always safe enough to be at ease.”

Erwin had not exactly meant it to be flattering, but perhaps he had become too used to giving people little words of praise like that, this time meant but with some part of him calculating if it worked, just in case that tactic could be employed later. Levi had tensed, not melted at his words. He looked at Erwin with a sort of resigned disgust as if he knew what Erwin had been up to. “You’re a big walking dummy of a target. Titans probably thought you were one of them, that’s why you lasted so long outside.”

Now Mike set his drink down and drummed his fingers on the table, probably contemplating ordering them new drinks. He lifted his brows. “Well, if you want your mother to stop, why don’t you get Levi to visit your home with you?”

“With Levi?”

“Well, you’re going there, am I right?” At Erwin’s grudging nod, because his mother’s plans could not be stopped by only sending polite letters, Mike gave an easy nod of his own. “So bring him along.” Mike spoke as if that had been the obvious solution, and that Erwin was being especially obtuse not to have immediately considered it. But Erwin thought of what would be Levi’s reaction if he was brought along to a formal dinner, not even on Survey Corps business but personal ones that Erwin had already bothered him with.

“I’m not sure Levi will be interested…” Erwin began. Mike’s lips twisted under his thin moustache in a smile that was partly a grimace. He apparently chose to ignore that the mug was a little dirty, and took a long gulp of the beer. Erwin followed suit. The beer was decent at least, rich and not likely watered down. 

“You already know he’ll follow you,” Mike said. “And you’ve taken him to formal events before. Trust me, your mother already knows about him. Save yourself the trouble and go along with what she wants.”

\--

It was a little disturbing to think that his mother already knew about Levi. Everybody had heard of Levi, of course, because he was as much of a symbol of the Survey Corps as Erwin himself, even if Erwin had served longer. Levi’s name in Lower Sina wouldn’t disappear even if Erwin paid more than a few hands or Levi had started to be praised for killing titans, but the rumors about Levi’s past had its uses now and then, since many in Sina loved the novelty. 

That posed its own problems, however. Erwin had gotten less discreet offers for Levi’s time that Erwin had quietly taken care of while he made sure that Levi was busy elsewhere. The first time, he hadn’t quite known what to do, and been too rash perhaps. Too rash, certainly. It was something he suspected his mother knew, because Erwin had needed to use former servants from his childhood instead of any of his men from the Survey Corps. In retrospect, there were other, neater ways he might have dealt with it, and none of them involved trusting his mother with the secret. It was an error in judgment that Erwin did not forget.

But Mike was right. He needed to see his mother with Levi at least once, if only to satisfy her curiosity. His mother sometimes did unnecessary and troublesome things when she was intrigued by something.

Levi had only nodded when Erwin had told him about the planned visit. But when the day arrived, Levi was less docile. He met Erwin in his uniform but without the complete gear set, and refused to wear the coat Erwin had had made for him, saying he didn’t need a new coat for one visit.

“What’s with you, Erwin?” Levi did not frown, but his eye twitched once, small face upturned to look at Erwin closely. “If you need to take a shit, I’ll wait for you in the carriage.”

“No, but…” Erwin allowed himself to smile fondly. “We’re not going to court today. You don’t have to wear a soldier’s uniform for an audience. So perhaps, something more casual...”

“How did you introduce me to your mama? As your captain, right?” Levi adjusted his cravat, glancing at Erwin’s boots to see if they have been polished to his approval. With Levi’s head down, Erwin could see that his hair was glossy from a new wash. “She’s expecting a subordinate more than a friend. And if you wanted a friend, there’s Mike for that.” 

At the promise of a visit, Erwin’s mother had sent over a closed carriage, complete with a driver and high-headed horses. It now waited for them in front of the gates. Erwin motioned for the driver to remain on his seat, and Levi entered the carriage with no complaint when Erwin opened the door for him. Levi sat nearer to one window instead of in the middle of the seat, and crossed his legs primly as Erwin climbed the carriage after him and sat on the opposite seat. One of the men closed the door for them and offered a salute as the driver cracked the whip and the vehicle started to move. Erwin glanced at the clear windows of his office as the carriage left. Levi did not seem especially worried, but since both of them would be gone, Erwin had left Mike in charge in case Hanji took their absence to mean freedom to conduct any experiment she wanted. Levi looked out at the road as the carriage moved, the sounds of life from outside muffled by wheels and hoof beats. 

Erwin made small talk. Levi sometimes murmured something or nodded to indicate he was listening. They traveled at a fairly even pace and made good time, even with the short stop they made for lunch and to change the horses. At one point, Levi dozed off, slouched slightly with his head turned to the upholstered seat, shoulder leaning against the side of the carriage and arms crossed over his chest. He looked grumpy in sleep, a line appearing between his thin brows. Erwin was glad that the carriage was proceeding smoothly. He stiffened slightly at the bump on the road, but Levi only listed to one side more, mouth falling open. Erwin could see the edges of white teeth, the point of an uncommonly sharp incisor. The other incisor was weathered flat. 

Erwin had seen Levi bite only once during a fight, and that had been against himself. As fastidious as he was, Levi fought dirty, particularly if faced with bigger men than him. His fighting style on the ground against humans hardly had any grace, but had the same ruthless efficiency as when he killed titans. He fought knowing what could bring his enemy down as quickly as possible, and with people it meant a quick strike to the lower jaw or behind the ear, the throat, or kicking or twisting parts that men would have wanted touched in different circumstances. Places that Levi could reach while grounded. Fighting with the maneuver gear seemed more natural to him, as if flight was natural, but Levi was quick even on the ground, his kicks more powerful than one would believe possible from his small form. Mike had complained once about sparring with Levi, saying that he would have gotten away with less pain and bruising if he’d been kicked by a horse instead.

The carriage jolted, and this time Levi cursed, opened his eyes and looked briefly out. The sun was setting when they reached the border, and Erwin stepped out to talk with the border guard. There was a wooden barracks and a stone building, guards milling lazily about. Sina opened its gates without much issue, though one of the guards gave Erwin a slightly cool stare to go with his salute, as if to let Erwin know that the easy welcome was not for them but the carriage. 

The roads inside Sina were marginally better. The stately houses were closer together in an orderly grid as you went to the center. Little agriculture was attempted within Sina, and most owned business and tracks of land in Rose that they otherwise would not have been able to afford in Sina. Still, they passed a hopeful vineyard and garden before they reached Erwin’s parents’ residence. The carriage drive was edged with pale greenery, and beyond, the house was as it always was. “It’s uselessly big,” Levi commented, looking at the white trim of the housefront and the rows of real glass. Erwin nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak yet with the troubling feeling of his shoulders relaxing on their own. This wasn’t home anymore.

Servants Erwin didn’t recognize met them and were quick to conduct them to their rooms and a bath. Erwin was given his old room, which they reached first. For a brief moment, Erwin was worried about being separated from Levi. But Levi didn’t seem to mind, and only waited for Erwin’s nod before he allowed himself to be guided to another room. It was at the other end of the hallway, a guest room that Erwin remembered had dark green wallpaper and a bed with shaped panels, the wood coaxed into a design of flowers and birds, which Levi would surely find stupid. At least it was reasonably close to his.

Erwin closed the door gently without locking it. Though the place had definitely been cleaned, nothing seemed to have been removed from his room; Erwin’s mother wasn’t a woman who saw sentimental value in things or people, but perhaps, with how big the house was, she hadn’t needed his room for anything. Or she was still considering the possibility of Erwin returning.

Erwin sat down on his bed, looking at his old things. The gun, probably unusable, on a polished stand on top of a low set of drawers. He didn’t remember whose gift it was. His desk of heavy dark wood. The old books lining his shelf looked like they had been meticulously dusted. Ah, there was that volume he hadn’t finished reading. He’d promised to lend it to Hanji, but he’d forgotten. He was poring over it probably half an hour later when the door to his room opened. Levi stopped with one foot in to give the door a short belated knock. He was wet and dripping from bathwater, and wearing only pants on. Erwin closed the book.

“Levi! What’s wrong?”

Levi turned to close the door, the tense line of his back making Erwin think of a distressed cat. Levi crossed the room and sat down on Erwin’s bed, on the dimple in the sheets where Erwin sat earlier. Only then did Levi seem to relax a little. “One of those guys tried to fucking shave me.” Levi mopped at his forehead, probably annoyed at the water from his hair dripping into his eyes. “Fucking took a razor out and showed it to me.”

Erwin nodded. “I take it that didn’t end well.”

“Didn’t kill the bastard, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Levi wasn’t shivering, but he’d apparently walked or ran down the hallway to Erwin’s room. Erwin did not expect there to be any complaint from the household staff, but his mother would still hear about it. Erwin couldn’t blame Levi for his reaction though. He was already feeling a little guilty that he’d neglected to tell Levi what to expect.

“Ah, guests are offered assistance like that.” Erwin took off his jacket and dropped it over Levi’s shoulders. The jacket swallowed him easily, making Levi look even younger. “They’re not really trying to cut your throat.”

“I…didn’t really think they were.” Levi’s reaction must have been immediate when he’d seen that razor flash. Most likely he’d moved to disarm the poor servant before he could reason out what the man had wanted, and then ran away to tell Erwin of his mistake. Erwin lifted Levi’s chin, looking for nicks, but the skin was smooth. The servant must not have gotten that close then.

“I never see you shave,” Erwin said, letting go of Levi’s jaw. Levi gave a shrug, one hand holding the edge of the jacket, though it didn’t seem to be in danger of slipping. Perhaps Levi had some oriental blood, what with his narrow eyes and black hair. He also had very little body hair, and grew only a little fluffy facial hair, hardly more noticeable than the pale fuzz on a young girl’s arms. Levi had no story to offer about his past before Lower Sina though. In all likelihood, looking for Levi’s family will only bring Erwin to a dead end.

“Erwin.” Levi narrowed his eyes further at him. “You better not be trying to say I look like a kid…” 

“I will never insinuate such a thing,” Erwin agreed easily, straightening up. “But you’ll be interested to know that this room has a bath, so you can finish your bath in peace.”

Levi stood obediently enough, but stopped at the door to the bathroom with something like uncertainty. He was probably thinking about the servant he hurt, but what he said was “My clothes…”

“I’ll have them brought around,” Erwin assured him. Levi nodded and slipped into the bath, not closing the door but leaving Erwin’s jacket hanging from the knob. Erwin left to go to the room they had prepared for Levi. He found the servant Levi must have hit, mopping at his face with a handkerchief. The man’s shirtfront was also wet, but from water, and he had no obvious bruises aside from a red imprint of fingers around his neck. 

He seemed alarmed to see Erwin there, as if he thought he’d be blamed for surprising Levi. Erwin smiled to show it was all right, got him to bring towels to his room instead, and brought along Levi’s bag with his spare uniform. He slipped the man a silver coin for his trouble, and was wondering whether he should put Levi’s bag down on his desk when Levi nudged the door completely open, crossed to Erwin’s bed and dried himself with one of the towels in quick swipes over wet flesh to keep from dripping all over the floor. Given the earlier treatment he received, it was understandable that the servant had not ventured into the bathroom with the towels. The water had been heated though, so Levi looked mostly pleased from his bath, neck and ears a little red. Erwin handed him his bag, and Levi shook out his clothes, dressing himself quickly. 

“I’m assuming there’s dinner after this,” Levi said when he’d buttoned up his shirt, leaving the top button open. He was barefoot, and Erwin remembered he had not brought Levi’s boots with him. But the servant had already anticipated it, as Erwin found them at the foot of his bed. Levi did not immediately put his boots on. Instead, he sat on the corner of Erwin’s bed, pulling his feet up and waiting there until Erwin was done with his own bath. Wordlessly, Levi pulled one of the towels to help Erwin dry his hair, and Erwin sat down on his bed so Levi didn’t need to reach far. Levi’s movements were not especially rough, but he was getting tense again, probably thinking about earlier. 

“The man wasn’t seriously hurt. But I’ve apologized to him on your behalf, if that makes you feel better.”

“Shit, I should say sorry myself,” Levi said, giving Erwin’s hair one last shake. “And it’s your house.”

“Instinct,” Erwin said, dismissing it. He couldn’t consider it Levi losing his control when the man he’d attacked was alive after all. And it was better if Levi was on guard anywhere. Still, it was true Levi had slipped; if he was completely alert, his thoughts would have been as lightning-quick as his actions, and he could have stopped his hand before he’d done the man any damage.

Levi looked as if he was about to say something more, but someone knocked on the door to inform them about dinner. Levi got off the bed and put on his socks and boots.

\--

Erwin’s mother sat at the head of the table when they entered the dining room. Erwin’s father, as usual, was not present. The places set for them were on opposite sides of the table, and near enough to his mother’s own seat. Erwin had brought Levi to parties before, but never to a dinner in a private home. Usually, Erwin pulled Levi around with him when they needed to meet people, mostly financial backers, and when Erwin had to dance with one of the women, he asked Levi to sample things from the tables. If left long enough, Levi would stand in a corner watching everybody with alert nonchalance. If he’d had his way, he would probably have gone back to the barracks to terrorize the recruits into cleaning. 

Levi did not try to impress people, and had never bothered to learn proper table etiquette. Now Erwin found himself wondering if this was somehow going to be used by his mother against him. But she had decided on a more casual dinner, if a little lavish for the Survey Corps, given the amount and quality of the meat, and the soup certainly had spices. Levi chewed silently and ate with the efficiency of someone not used to having a long time to spend on a meal, but he ate neatly, switching to a smaller spoon when the servants brought in some sweet gelatinous dessert. The table was quiet; not surprising, as only the three of them were eating, though Erwin’s mother seemed more content looking at Levi over her glass, her eyes widening slightly when Levi paused to drink, picking up his own glass by the mouth. Erwin hoped it would pass as a slightly amusing novelty.

“You’ll get it dirty, holding it like that,” Erwin’s mother said. Not counting her murmured greeting, they were the first words she said to Levi directly. She did not sound appalled or annoyed. Amused perhaps. Interested. Erwin fought back a frown.

Levi stilled when he first met her eyes. He gave Erwin a short glance that was probably comparison, Levi finding the superficial resemblance, even if his mother’s eyes weren’t blue. Then Levi looked at Erwin’s mother again. 

“I drink from the rim I’m not covering with my hand,” Levi said. “I don’t turn the glass around, so I remember where it is even if I put it down.” He probably thought he had to defend his mannerism, given how clean he was, and putting one’s hands directly on the mouth of a glass or cup was not exactly considered clean. His tone was conversational, even when he said, “Not that I’m supposed to put it down after. Bastards who slip poison in your cup, they’re often really quick. Harder to keep watch when you mingle with a crowd, or when you’re gambling on a low table, when everyone’s always moving and you watch the cards more. So you guard your cup like this.”

He spoke softly, easily. It had surprised Erwin when he was still getting to know Levi, how much he could actually speak, because Erwin had assumed that Levi kept quiet all the time. But he usually didn’t offer information like that either. Erwin remembered those times Levi was expected to speak with someone but had sullenly left the conversation to Erwin, only cutting in at times with an insult if Levi did not like the person.

“Oh my.” Erwin’s mother put her hand to her lips, her smile crinkling her eyes. She did not even look surprised. If anything, it was as if she found a conversation partner who spoke the same language. “Useful in court, too. However, not something you can pull off without looking suspicious. Unless you are the captain of the Survey Corps. You have a, shall we say, a reputation for eccentricity.” She shifted a little in her seat. Erwin heard the smooth shift of the heavy fabric of her dress. Light reflected on the locket at her neck; Erwin had never seen what picture it held. “But supposing they poisoned the whole pitcher?”

Levi shook his head. “They could easily get it wrong, put too much or too little in. Then people notice something’s wrong, or someone else dies while the guy they’re really after just retches a bit.” 

“Or they can drink their own poison without meaning to,” Erwin’s mother mused. Her glance at Erwin was not an accusation, but a reminder. If there was any question about it before, now Erwin could tell she definitely knew.

Levi gave Erwin’s mother a little nod, seemingly unaware of their little exchange, or tactfully ignoring it. “If you have more enemies than Erwin, maybe you should check that your cup is empty when they first give it to you. Safer if you don’t drink something that was prepared by someone else.”

“Are people after Erwin’s life then?” his mother asked, more gleeful than concerned, and Erwin said “No” at the same time that Levi said “Not usually.” Erwin did not feel that was right though; he had certainly not noticed anyone actively trying for his life. Well. Not since Levi.

“Did it long enough it became a habit,” Levi now said, thankfully going back to the talk about the way he held cups. He was looking down at the back of his hand with a thoughtful little frown. “Not that I don’t trust Erwin. But.” Levi put down the glass and righted his way of holding it. “Will this satisfy you?”

Erwin’s mother gave a low chuckle. “Clever,” she said. “Honesty and flattery.” Rather than the gesture, she probably meant that she was flattered Levi thought she had more enemies. _Enemies prove your importance_ , she had told Erwin once. “You have a better way with people than my son.” She pressed her lips together, smiling. Levi did not smile, but his look spoke almost of recognition. “But it takes something away from it, doesn’t it? Please hold your glass how you see fit.”

What Erwin had been sure of: his mother would like Levi. And that was the problem.

\--


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Started the plot for this before I found out the timeline for Choice With No Regrets, so I'm just pretty much leaving the time this happened vague because I don't know how to work this into the timeline. I just got this chapter finished now because tumblr was so distracting. :D

Erwin had not given much thought to sleeping arrangements back in the barracks. There were times when he fell asleep at his desk, and he’d wake up either with Levi already in the process of dragging him back to his room (“Leave the candle like that again, you shithead. Then I’ll watch while you explain why the headquarters burned to the ground.”), or with a blanket over his shoulders. Sometimes three blankets, and he’d be sweating through them in the summer, as it had apparently become a joke for Levi, Mike, and Hanji. Hanji sometimes left him a drink, and while he appreciated the gesture, it was not necessarily safe to accept drinks from her. 

Outside the wall, the air was always charged with anxiety and dread, resolve or perhaps desperation keeping people upright or on their saddle when they needed to keep moving. It was not strange to have to ride through the night to safety, when the titans would be dormant. Sometimes they get to steal a few minutes of sleep. In expeditions where the losses were great, and the newer men would be muttering, Levi would go to Erwin’s tent and hunch outside in his coat. Keeping company or standing guard, Levi hardly offered any word of comfort or asked for any in return. 

Now, waking up in his old room, in the bed where his feet didn’t dangle from the edge, Erwin had a moment of confusion. This room was on the wrong side to admit sunlight, but Erwin normally woke up early in the morning regardless of where he was, his sleep restless enough at times to pull him awake, though usually only to find that somehow the base has woken up before him. Levi would be dusting his furniture, or Mike has skipped knocking on the door, and Erwin would find him putting reports on top of the low set of drawers and sniffing the air with a secret smirk.

Erwin had half-expected to wake up to find Levi in the room here, too. Levi’s bag was missing from Erwin’s desk, and the precise neatness of the folded towels in the bathroom showed Levi must have been to Erwin’s room; none of the servants have asked to be admitted in to clean yet. 

The view outside his window is of thin pale trees, the sky lightening, sun completely hidden by clouds. Below, in the courtyard, he spotted Levi doing a series of stretches. He was not wearing the maneuver gear harness, just worn shirt and trousers that Levi had apparently brought along with him to practice in. The sleeves were folded up to the elbows. Levi placed his hands palms down on the ground, not flinching at the dirt, and flipped his body up in the air, holding the pose as easily as if he were standing on his feet. Before he could do more than a few pushups in this position though, Levi froze, head canting a bit to the side in a question, but he hadn’t seen Erwin. Instead, he was looking in the direction of the roofed passageway that ran along one side of the courtyard. From Erwin’s vantage point, he could only see a pair of wooden clogs.

Levi lifted his hand, effectively using one arm to support his weight, to pat his hand clean on his shirt. A servant girl came scampering into view, and Erwin realized she’d come in with a basket of fruits and must have offered him one of the apples. Levi accepted the fruit gravely and murmured something that Erwin didn’t catch, but the girl laughed softly at it. They spoke for a while more. Finally, the girl hefted the basket in her arms, and hurried, still giggling, to the kitchen, steps light and quick as if to make up for stopping earlier. Erwin recalled his conversation with his mother, enemies and poison. Levi had been quick enough to accept the gift though, gracious in his own way. But then, Levi was usually a good judge of character.

Levi pushed himself up off the ground with the hand propping him up, doing an odd little twist, and for a moment he was airborne before his feet found the ground again, and Levi landed in a loose crouch. Levi did it as easily as if nature was imposing itself and Levi had always been poised for flight, even without the maneuver gear to assist him. The first time Levi was injured, Erwin had been afraid of what the injury would mean. He remembered the birds with the clipped wings he had seen in a noble’s collection once, the birds kept for their colors and some for their songs. But Levi’s wound had healed and didn’t seem to bother him now, and only that dark wondering was left. If Levi could not return to the field, what then?

Erwin watched only long enough to see that Levi was settling down, his back to a wall, to eat the apple. Some servants silently passed through the archway, but these were well-trained and ignored Levi while somehow still conferring respect, not erasing him from the courtyard but not questioning why he was there. Erwin did not have many fond memories of that courtyard. The arms instructor they’d assigned to him had been lame in one leg, and too worried about making sure that Erwin did not get hurt to allow him to do much with the practice sword. One day, people had burst into the courtyard, men who’d apparently lost their job because Erwin’s father had bought a rival family’s business and decided he wanted everyone replaced. There had been shouting, then, before the guards came in with serviceable rifles.

Erwin washed his face in the bathroom with water that had gone cold. The faint smell of soap and bath oils hit his nostrils, and Erwin realized that must have been what was wrong when he’d bidden Levi good night. He had patted Levi’s head briefly, Levi just a few inches from him, bathed and clean, and for a moment, it had seemed like another night after an expedition, except the smell was wrong. The barracks soap had at first a sharp smell that quickly disappeared, but this one lingered, a sweet, pressed-flower smell like the reminder of his mother’s hand. It was a detail he would not have noticed before; Mike must be getting to him.

Leaving the bathroom, Erwin settled for a while in bed, reading the volume he’d set aside earlier. The light from outside wasn’t necessarily good, but it was enough. Definitely something Hanji would be interested to read, he judged. By the time Erwin had gone down to the courtyard, Levi wasn’t there. Instead of walking around aimlessly, Erwin stopped one of the servants, who nodded politely to him and directed him, predictably enough, to the kitchen, where Levi was making short work of peeling the potatoes. There was a boy, probably the son of one of the maids, who was sitting on a stool beside him, talking, as some boys of that age did, about what he and his friends were planning to do once they were outside the wall. The boy seemed happy enough with Levi’s occasional assenting hum, the maids too polite to chastise the boy in front of Levi for even thinking of going outside the wall. Amused, Erwin noticed that the boy was not much shorter than Levi, and already getting broader. But the recruits were often taller than Levi, too, and they still looked up to him. 

The door was open, but Erwin knocked on it anyway, only meaning to alert Levi of his presence. But at his knock, all the people in the kitchen turned to look. The girl from earlier didn’t seem to be among them. The boy immediately fell quiet. There was awe in his gaze but also a sort of fearful, wary respect. The servants’ greetings were faultlessly polite, while Levi did not greet him beyond a curt nod as he finished peeling the potato in his hand. He was using a knife with a mended handle.

“Hey, Erwin. Already finished taking a shit?”

The looks the servants gave Levi then would have had Erwin laughing, but it was something he was more comfortable to laugh about when he was alone with Levi, so he settled for a smile. Levi probably meant for Erwin to be welcomed into the group as easily as he was, but Erwin thought it was more likely to backfire, the servants thinking of Levi as something more alien than they initially thought. Erwin recognized two of the older servants who have been around since Erwin was young. They were not going to change their opinion of him so easily.

“Yes, Levi. For the time being, do you think you can accompany me?” Levi put the potato down at that, handing the knife to the boy, who took it as if there was something special about the old knife now that it had passed Levi’s hands. Levi followed Erwin out of the kitchen and fell into step beside him, asking no questions even when they reached an arched walkway overlooking one of the gardens, best viewed by night, Erwin remembered, when the decorative lamps were lit. But there was a fountain spraying water. Erwin paused just in case Levi wanted to see it, but Levi merely looked at him. Erwin contemplated the fountain himself. Admittedly, it was probably not something that would interest Levi. Clean water wasn’t easy to come by in Lower Sina, so perhaps the fountain looked like a pointless extravagance to him, nothing remotely delightful about it.

“Was I supposed to stay in my room?” Levi asked then.

“No, that’s not it,” Erwin assured him. “Ah, but the servants bring chocolate to the guests’ rooms in the morning, so you might have waited for that. You can, of course, move freely around the grounds. There’s a library with maps you might even be interested in. I don’t plan on prolonging this visit, so while we’re here…” Levi’s eyes did not stray from him once, but the blank gaze held a tinge of impatience, so Levi must know he was stalling. “My mother might be planning something that involves you now,” Erwin finally allowed in an undertone. “You’re not obligated to follow her wishes. Actually, if she asks something about the Corps…”

“I don’t answer,” Levi finished dutifully. Erwin nodded, relaxing his stance when he realized he’d adopted a military posture and Levi was unconsciously copying him. This was supposed to be a casual visit, so it won’t do to appear too watchful. If nothing else, it wouldn’t be polite.

“Unless something has changed drastically in the last months, my parents do not think well of the Military Police. They have had mutually beneficial business in the past, but that can be said of everyone in Sina with even the remotest influence. My mother probably won’t repeat anything you say to the MP, but she has a personal interest in the Survey Corps.” 

In the past year, in fact, supporting the Survey Corps seemed to have become fashionable in certain circles, so it wasn’t only Erwin’s mother. Many people in Sina have never seen a titan, and their businesses were not exactly touched by what happened. Though papers reported on things that happened outside, titans probably have the same unrealistic cast to them as monsters in children’s books. But the nobles gambled on lesser things: cards, dog races, duels. There were parties affiliated with his family which expressed an interest to help fund expeditions, or suddenly had horses they did not want. Erwin couldn’t think of that as coincidence. 

“So far, a beneficial interest,” Erwin admitted. “But with her, that can mean she’s going to collect at a later date.”

“You think that’s what she’s doing now with this marriage business?” Levi asked, voice flat and uninterested, but Erwin knew Levi enough to know that was the default he retreated to when he was thinking. Levi crossed the few feet to the garden and settled down on one of the marble benches without waiting for Erwin to sit. He crossed his legs, palms flat on the bench. “Collecting with interest?”

“This is the first time she’s getting directly involved, so that is a possibility.”

“Got it.”

They walked around, but Erwin did not have anything in particular to say about anything in his parents’ house. They ended up in the music room. Erwin played a few pieces on the piano, but Levi did not recognize any of the songs except one. Later, leaving Levi to take up his new friendship with the household staff, and with his half-annoyed promise to look at the maps Erwin suggested, Erwin went to look for his mother. 

Erwin didn’t think she’d change much. Mornings: a light breakfast in bed; she wouldn’t be receiving visitors, and would likely not leave her own wing of the house until late afternoon, when she’d have concluded planning any new ventures and gotten people to do the actual work for her. Nothing Erwin had heard would mean trouble with the crown, but not all was strictly clean business. Lunch was served in the dining hall when there were guests, or if Erwin’s twin siblings or other relations came to visit, but his mother often left it to the servants, and more often than not, people ate at different times, except for dinner, when they deigned to show each other their faces. However, as of late, Erwin’s father had a certain house in Rose he favored visiting. He was not particularly discreet, but he had not yet become embarrassing.

Erwin found his mother in one of the reading rooms, the high windows admitting milky light across the wide tables, upon which was spread some books and maps, forgotten for the moment. His mother was on a straight-backed chair pulled close to the table, writing a letter that she covered with a spare sheet of paper a moment after she noticed Erwin had entered; probably the pause was to wait for the ink to dry, not surprise. 

“Discretion,” Erwin’s mother said chidingly, but something of a joke in her voice too. 

“I assure you, I have no intention of getting in the way of your business,” Erwin said, matching his mother’s friendliness. But he looked at the maps on the table again. There were black and white castle pieces placed on certain points of the map, the board set aside. There was no piece over the Survey Corps headquarters. 

“If you must know,” Erwin’s mother said with an affected sigh, no doubt noticing his glance, “I’m helping Letia.”

It took a while for Erwin to recognize the childish nickname. “…The duchess?” When Erwin’s mother made a small wave with her hand holding the pen, not denying it, Erwin gave a rueful smile. “Am I to find that there’s a very simple connection after all?”

“Friends helping friends,” she agreed. “But this is more of an… indulgence, on her part.” She turned on her seat then, looked at Erwin with her lips pursed. Most of her hair was pulled over her shoulder in a messy cascade that was too heavy to curl. She had been young when she’d married Erwin’s father, and now she was in that plateau of middle age that made it difficult to tell how old she was. Erwin wondered briefly what Levi saw when he looked at her; some family feeling, or more dangerous, he was equating her with Erwin. But they were not really alike.

“You would want her to owe you a favor,” she said, shrewd and merciless, but not uncouthly so. She leaned her cheek on the back of her hand, smiling at Erwin. “And to discharge your debt.”

“Debt, Mother?”

“Borrowing pieces,” she said. “Which lacks foresight. At least do it so I wouldn’t know when you’ve put them back. Do you think, under normal circumstances, they wouldn’t have talked about it? No; they had to do an errand in Lower Sina, and due to some unfortunate circumstances, they had to retire.”

Erwin stilled. It wasn’t altogether unexpected, but the admission lacked the subtlety of his mother’s usual game. This was coercion, pure and simple. “You could not have felt obliged to tidy up after someone’s fledgling efforts.”

“In Lower Sina, they say to ‘grumble after dropping your favorite hat over your friend’s shit.’ I believe that has its own virtue, and as charmingly worded as your cat would have put it.” She smiled. “After all this time, and knowing where it went, you can hardly expect me to retrieve my hat?”

“Yes, it would be in bad form for me to make you. Perhaps I can get you a new hat.”

“Did you miss the part where it was my favorite?” Erwin’s mother did not have far to lean back on her chair. She looked down at the covered letter under her hand. “But of course you are free to think about it first. Letia’s daughter will be visiting today, before evening, so you can take the time to know her. A private affair, I promised.”

Erwin did not sigh, but he turned away without bowing or announcing he was leaving, so he didn’t see what kind of amused expression she had when she added, all falsely thoughtful, “But you can bring your cat.”

\--

Erwin had time to warn Levi, at least. Levi met the news with a flat hum, as indifferent as if Erwin had told him about Mike’s new mistress. Levi was sitting on a stool with his legs crossed and a shirt in his hands, which Erwin guessed was one of the spare shirts of the boy earlier. Erwin did not bother to think of what could have happened that led to Levi mending a shirt; a simple conversation with the servants might have done it, knowing how much Levi hated inactivity.

“Fiorin said they’ve been getting ready all day,” Levi said. The little confirmation made Erwin think of the possibilities, but mostly he thought of the annoyingly inescapable nature of it. Erwin found his mouth pulling up in an automatic smile though, and before he could consider what he was doing, he asked remotely, “Fiorin?”

“One of the servant girls. Gave me food.” Briefly, Erwin wondered if that in fact was the way to get Levi to be fond of one. Levi didn’t seem to think much of the situation, looking at Erwin as if he didn’t doubt Erwin had a plan that was more solid than what Erwin had now. At least Levi didn’t seem to think anything was amiss with Erwin’s question.

Erwin pulled a chair so he could sit near Levi, keeping his stance and his voice casual. “Did this Fiorin say anything more about who was coming?”

“A princess, she said.” At that, Erwin was reminded of how big Duchess Lucreze’s holdings really were. Yes, technically a princess, which made the whole business laughably odd.

Finished sewing the shoulder, Levi cut the thread with his teeth. “She has suitors out for an early start, including a persistent one like a flea would stick to a dog,” he continued, folding the shirt neatly. 

Of course. After his mother had sent the portraits, Erwin had acted on his suspicion and had someone look into any business that could be related to why the duchess might want her daughter married. One of the things he considered was that their holdings were somehow not as secure as he believed. Rumors of fallen noble families would be quick to circulate though, even without a solid basis, so hiding bankruptcy would have been close to impossible. And the duchess’ youngest daughter was not too young for her marriage to raise many eyebrows. So the reason was more likely the suitors. There were several scenarios for this. For instance, the princess had disgraced herself with one of them. Or the duchess wanted someone not part of the noble houses who will not undermine her authority. 

“So this guy, Dietz,” Levi said, settling back to share the rest of what he’d heard. “Does that romantic shit where he waits for her carriage to pass, sends flowers and poems, sings outside her window. Noisy about his love, annoys the neighbors. Neighbors got too fucking scandalized to want to speak about it. The other suitors turn their noses up and don’t wanna follow his lead, so they’ve stayed back. Just one or two sending gifts now and then. No open talk of marriage.”

Erwin nodded. He’d heard of Dietz before, but mainly about his business practices. “Perhaps the problem is that he’s frightened everyone acceptable off?”

“How is getting engaged to you gonna help her?” Levi frowned, and Erwin hoped Levi hadn’t meant that as a slur on his character. It wasn’t an altogether unreasonable route as Levi was thinking. Perhaps the other nobles couldn’t take the overly romantic courting seriously, so they were simply waiting for the duchess to make it clear that her daughter was turning down his suit. And bringing Erwin’s name in, at a time when the Survey Corps was somehow in fashion, wouldn’t hurt her chances. So this was probably less about marriage than the association. Something that would look serious enough to attract serious suitors.

Erwin explained this, and Levi scoffed but accepted that logic. “That guy did sound unbelievable.”

Erwin nodded, but something about the phrasing seemed to scratch at Erwin’s brain with an insistent finger. He looked quietly at Levi, feeling the beginnings of relief: Levi had just handed him a piece. “Have I told you how useful you are?”

“I’m glad, Erwin,” Levi said in his characteristically flat voice. And then after a glance at Erwin’s face, “Wipe that stupid grin off. You look like those guys who kick kittens.”

\--

The carriage bearing the duchess’ arms came, accompanied by a guard detail from the Military Police, a formality since the duchess’ daughter had her own guards. The Military Police looked bored and slightly resentful, their bows stiff as Erwin helped the duchess’ daughter down the carriage, Levi standing off to one side with an answering scowl.

A private affair among noble houses meant that they were behind closed doors, but the servants still entered the room at intervals, replenishing their tea, bringing a new tray of sweets. Behind the duchess’ daughter stood her male servant, an old man with a soldier’s unmistakable posture, and a girl who seemed only a little older than the duchess’ daughter, in a plain but expensive-looking dress that discounted her from being a simple maid. But like the old man, she had not been introduced.

Levi stood a little to one side of Erwin’s chair, exchanging an empty glance across the table with the two mismatched guards. Erwin’s mother left after giving the duchess’ daughter a wrapped book that she had apparently shown some interest in the last time they’ve met.

“I’m afraid I was not able to prepare a gift myself on such short notice,” Erwin said with a tiny, self-deprecating smile. The princess was quick to dismiss this, assuring him that there was nothing to forgive when she was the one imposing. The girl behind her made a little polite rustle when their empty exchange of pleasantries went on for longer, Erwin asking after the duchess’ health, praising her vineyard, and the duchess’ daughter likewise stalling. Even young, she was obviously versed in politics. Without the constant practice Levi had given him, Erwin wasn’t sure how well he would have been able to see through her gracious but somewhat empty mask. But there was a little nervousness there. And calculation.

“I heard that Dietz has been disobliging?” Erwin finally asked, when it seemed that he had to make his own opening. The girl standing behind the princess rustled again, adjusting her stance, but the princess herself was still. Erwin smiled to encourage her to speak.

‘Yes,” she said, calm and inflectionless. A mask to hide annoyance, or honest disinterest to cover the absence of annoyance? She reached for her teacup and took a steady sip, giving a small wry smile in return. “The lady Smith mentioned that you know of dealing with such inconveniences.”

Levi did not make any sort of move, though the princess’ polite glance at Levi suggested what step Erwin should take with her. Erwin had considered this before, having to ask Levi to take care of business like this. But there was something about making Levi kill someone, in secret, for nothing directly related to the Corps, that made Erwin recoil from it, though Levi might trust Erwin even with such an order. Levi was the hero of the Survey Corps, humanity’s strongest soldier. Even if the title attracted people willing to pay to solve problems, and even if no one would know of Levi’s involvement, the lie had to continue to be real. Levi of the Survey Corps was clean.

Perhaps it was too early to see if his card was a good one, but Erwin decided to risk it. The smile he wore came easily enough, though he allowed a hint of consternation and worry to color his voice as he leaned forward slightly. “But do you want him removed?” That brought a reaction; the princess looked again at Erwin’s face, assessing. It wasn’t an offer of a helping hand at all, but the opposite. Erwin could see that she understood, but was perhaps not ready to understand, or simply wanted to confirm it, because she said, slowly, “What do you mean?”

Erwin drummed his fingers on the table, keeping his gaze neutral. “It will not take much for the duchess to convince him to stop. If anything,” Erwin nodded at the duchess’ daughter, and it was the girl behind her who reacted again, twitching, “you will not have to exert even a little force. If that was what you wanted.”

“Oh,” the duchess’ daughter said. Her voice was quiet, sounding almost surprised in a child’s way, and now quite obviously young, somehow.

“It is not so obvious,” Erwin assured her, knowing enough of nobles now to flatter her cleverness, to dull anything in his voice that can be perceived as a threat. “But Dietz loves money too much, and does not care about his reputation. With money in his hands, he might even be sensitive to a lady’s plight.”

_Unbelievable_ , Levi had remarked. But perhaps not so unbelievable if Dietz was being paid to act the part of the clown. The duchess’ daughter steepled her fingers in front of her. She didn’t seem resentful that he had reasoned out even a part of it, and instead obliged by admitting that she did not wish to be married.

“My lady!” The older guard said this time with a note of worry, eyes growing dark as he gave Erwin a quick glare of resentment, as if he thought Erwin was going to use the information against her. The girl with the duchess’ daughter merely closed her eyes with a small sigh. She was probably party to the plan then. The question was how much the duchess, and how much Erwin’s mother, knew.

“It’s probably irregular. Unexpected,” the duchess’ daughter murmured. She glanced at Levi, a glance that did not really convey anything, before turning her attention back to her hands on the table. It was a show of modesty that was mere politeness, a transparent chance for Erwin to make his move.

“This begs the question of what you want.”

Erwin hoped she wasn’t going to bring up Dietz, because at this point it would only mean one thing. Thankfully, the princess only gave a delicate laugh, and gave him a safe enough explanation, “My mother realized, but for her it has not been about preserving the family name. I have older siblings for that. Still…if people talk, it will be inconvenient.”

“I see.”

“Perhaps less than you think. Or only the things that are of interest to you, but that is enough.” She frowned, assured and insecure about her position all at once. “Dietz has been…helpful. But suspicious, I understand now.” The duchess’ daughter inclined her head. “I will see Lady Smith, before I go.”

She got up, and the easy etiquette of the court made Erwin stand with her. Erwin urged her to visit again, saying that was definitely what his mother wanted. She smiled then, wryly, and they spoke easily of other things until they came to his mother’s study, where Erwin’s mother found a polite way to kick him out.

The duchess’ daughter and her guards were soon out of the house. Erwin saw them off, and later, Levi trailed after Erwin like a shadow, making no comment. Erwin was not surprised when Levi came all the way to Erwin’s room with him. Levi sat down on the desk, legs dangling, and frowned at Erwin.

“You look like you need to take a shit. You didn’t actually shit earlier, did you?”

“Please, Levi,” Erwin said. Levi gave a huff of annoyance, turning his head slightly to the window. It was just getting dark, the more secluded, contained dark inside the wall, broken by a few early lamps that weren’t quite bright enough.

“Something’s still not right,” Erwin muttered, sitting down on the bed that felt too soft now after the barracks. “A confession. Why?”

Levi did not say anything, unnecessarily careful not to derail Erwin’s thoughts. After a while though, brain buzzing with ideas, Erwin noticed the little tells that Levi was uncomfortable: a quicker turn of the head when Erwin stood to pace, followed by a loose, boneless stillness to compensate. Erwin stopped in the middle of his room to look at Levi perched on his desk. He had the unbidden image of what childhood could have been, if he’d known Levi then, if they could have stayed sometimes like this together in Erwin’s room, Erwin showing Levi the latest book he is immersed in, Levi teaching him how to carve a rabbit from a piece of wood, or asking him to prepare the tea for them. Levi silently happy at the teaspoonful of honey they could indulge in.

But Levi was not his to protect, really. The only protection he can offer Levi is what he has been trying to win for all the soldiers of the Corps: more supplies, funding for Hanji’s titan experiments and the experimental explosives, anything that can save lives outside the wall. If the duchess and her daughter are actually at odds, and the duchess is set on this marriage to remove inconveniences, should Erwin take advantage of it? The duchess’ daughter is terribly young, but he’s lead people to their deaths before, some of them as young as the duchess’ daughter, only without the pampered comfort of the interior to at least give their short lives a sense of fairness. 

Erwin almost jumped when Levi’s hand flicked across his face, the calloused pads of his fingers just barely brushing his nose; he had not noticed Levi steal closer, his gaze having dropped to his boots at one point, fists tight by his sides. The shock of the touch left his mouth slack for a long second, and there is almost a smile on Levi’s face. Erwin’s eyes fixed on that almost-smile, identifying it with an incredulity that pulled a laugh from his throat.

The distraction is enough to make the rest of the night pleasant.


	3. Chapter 3

Levi was nowhere to be found the following morning. The courtyard was empty except for the occasional passing servant, and when Erwin tried Levi’s room, thinking he may have stayed around for the hot chocolate after all, Levi’s bed was neatly made, the clothes he had changed out of folded neatly at the foot of the bed. He wasn’t in the kitchen either.

The servants he’d asked didn’t seem to be aware that Levi was missing, or since when, but they showed some interest in looking for him around the mansion. Before such a thing could bring more attention to Levi’s absence, Erwin assured them, after a reasonable amount of time for him to ‘find’ Levi, that he had finally seen him and just now sent him on a little trip to the city. 

The disbelief Erwin was feeling had not quite turned to apprehension. Levi didn’t leave on excursions to town on his own without telling Erwin or Hanji first, but they were technically on leave since they were visiting on a not quite official capacity, and Levi was free to go anywhere he pleased. 

Erwin briefly considered that Levi had left before him, but the horses were still in the stable. Also, Levi had been with him when he’d asked Mike to send them a missive asking them to return for some urgent business, to afford them the excuse to go back to headquarters. Levi knew he only had to put up with it for a short while.

It was late afternoon when Levi returned, neat and buttoned up in his uniform, bringing a bauble for Lady Smith that Erwin himself had supposedly asked him to buy as a small gift before they left. Erwin’s mother looked pleased, though she hardly looked at the contents of the small box, just a glance that showed one of the servants that it was a jeweled hairpin, not cheap but not extravagant; more of a small boy’s earnest gift to his mother, which Erwin didn’t doubt the servants would later read as due to the small pay at the Survey Corps. At least they weren’t going to think it was stolen.

Levi followed Erwin back to his room, not fidgeting, but something told Erwin there was more to it than Levi trying to impress Erwin’s mother, or else getting her to have a better opinion of Erwin. Erwin sat a little heavily on his bed, giving Levi a quick glance: no visible wounds. His careless perch on Erwin’s desk didn’t seem to be hiding any hidden injury or weapon either. He seemed more high-strung than he usually was though.

“Didn’t you bring a cloak with you?”

Levi stilled, and gave Erwin a look of annoyance. “Did you look through my things?”

“Well, you were missing for a while. I just happened to notice, since you had your bag open in your room.”

“…I disposed of it.”

After waiting for Levi to elaborate, Erwin realized that Levi was expecting that detail to be answer enough. Levi was not as stoic as people usually assumed he was; he commented on things he didn’t like, insulted Nile to his face, encouraged their men. But at times, Levi would be quiet, rarely because he was content with something, and more often giving a feeling of great foreboding, like a leashed storm. It caused even seasoned veterans of the Survey Corps to flop backwards out of his path, or hastily change the topic if they were in conversation with him. Erwin thought, with a sort of wry, unlooked-for fondness, that Levi would not have respected him if it worked on him, too.

“Why?”

Levi scrunched up his nose and turned away, crossing his arms. His voice when he spoke was casual, a bit soft, though the heavy wood of the door and the thickness of the walls would have been enough to muffle words for any interested parties outside. “It’s not a big deal. It was an old cloak anyway, time I got a new one. And I left it on the other side of the city, so no one’s going to tie it back to us.”

Definitely suspicious—losing your things deliberately and making sure it can’t be returned to you. It was a rough cloak, which Erwin had thought was a relic from Levi’s past, and which he’d seen Levi tuck in under other clothes when he was packing. It did not have the Survey Corps symbol, and the relevance of that was starting to become clear. It was probably strange, that Erwin would invite Levi to his old home, and Levi would think there would be sneaking around involved. But even if he had not in fact asked Levi to do anything shady, it almost felt normal for them. 

Still, Erwin didn’t like the implication that Levi might have acted for Erwin’s mother. He knitted his brows, sighed out the breath he found he’d been holding as he massaged his temple. Levi watched him warily. 

“Did you kill someone?”

Levi met his eyes; Erwin thought at first he had offended him, but the slow blink he was given was confirmation, if anything. Levi didn’t really act innocent convincingly, or bothered to. Erwin felt a small spike of anger that Levi hadn’t denied it.

“Who?”

Levi said, easily enough, “That pig we were talking about.”

“Yes, I thought so.”

Only then did Levi appear restless, kicking his heels like a child, his bare hands, rather clean for having killed someone, gripping the desk under him. _You don’t like it?_ Levi didn’t ask.

“If it’s an untraceable crime as you say, it’s fine.” Erwin gave Levi a look that was more than a little appraising. Part of being a commander was cataloguing what their subordinates were capable of, and this was a new lesson about Levi himself. 

When Levi first promised to follow him, Levi was lost, angry, not really trusting himself beyond his judgment of trusting Erwin. That meant he didn’t question Erwin, and while that had its uses, Erwin wanted Levi to be able to decide some things on his own, too. It was not nearly as innocent as wanting Levi to have more freedom; just that it would be more useful, in the future, if Levi could act in Erwin’s stead without Erwin needing to be there to tell him what to do. Levi had started acting as befitted his second-in-command, showing more independence, but that hadn’t included murder before now. 

“Is there more to this story?”

Levi shrugged, relaxed now, though impatient. “Your ma said she wants to be the one to tell you, as goodbye. But it’s the usual story. I’m getting paid for it. She promised a nice sum for skinning a pig, and I said I wanted it as goods. If she’s to be trusted, we’re getting a bunch of horses next week, and smoked meat.”

“Donations to the Corps?” Erwin nodded his appreciation. “Did my mother promise this?”

“She’s the middleman. The money’s from the princess.”

Erwin shook his head at that. He didn’t know what kind of loyalty nobility _did not_ expect, but it seemed a little extreme to kill Dietz when his usefulness ran out. He didn’t understand why they had Levi do it either, when they could have just as easily hired someone else, if they didn’t want to use someone that could be connected to them. But then perhaps it was expedient to use someone from the Survey Corps, who were known to be “dead men” because of the attrition rate. 

“I promised something else,” Levi said suddenly, voice poised between airy confidence and some approximation of glee. Erwin almost dreaded it then, but Levi seemed to be over his earlier uncertainty, and now he was simply regarding Erwin as if he knew whatever promise he’d made was not something Erwin would normally agree with, but since Levi had already brokered the deal for him, he had to agree.

“Well, with that pig out of the way, you can marry the princess, right?”

So that was it.

\--

Even though all the thinking he’d done last night hadn’t helped, somehow this new development made it easier for Erwin to arrive at his answer. No, Erwin was not marrying the princess. Part of Erwin was impressed despite himself, but the point was marriage with someone from the nobility was too complicated. 

“The Survey Corps is popular now, but we always fall out of favor. Allying the Survey Corps with a noble will be ideal if we can be sure of the support we’ll get, but from what I’ve heard, the duchess doesn’t look too well even on late results.” He fixed Levi with a look when it started to seem like he was only making the effort to pretend interest. “If she thinks her daughter can make a better match, she might try to get the marriage annulled, or if that’s not possible, broken in another way. That can mean legal complications, or starting a scandal so her daughter will have some excuse to divorce me, which is the best scenario.” 

“The worst being, she’ll try to kill you?”

“Skinning a pig, did you call it?” Erwin asked wryly. “But no. The worst will be that she’ll discredit the Survey Corps along with me, and keep us from moving, and that will negate anything that we can hope to gain from such an alliance. Do you understand? Survey Corps is too big a price to risk on the whims of the nobility.”

“It’s not like our standing now is any safer than it had been before,” Levi reminded him. “More idiots yapping about heroism and bravery and that kind of shit now, but you said we need more funds.”

“And you thought to marry me off.”

Actually smiling seemed to require too much emotional investment for Levi, but he smiled now, a quick swindler’s grin. “That’s the idea, yeah.”

“Levi…” Erwin said, admonishing. Levi sat back and glared at him, abruptly serious. 

“You said you’d do anything for humanity,” Levi said. His tone wasn’t exactly accusing, but it was obvious there was some distaste there, vague and maybe not even directly because of Erwin. “And this is something I see you encouraging someone else to do, and not because you don’t care they’d be making a stupid-ass decision. No, it’s just because they’ll get the chance to be happy.”

Erwin took several seconds to understand, and when he did, he couldn’t quite help the sigh that escaped him, though it made Levi bristle. Erwin opened and closed his hands in front of him. He had a scar across one palm, a faintly paler line that cut along what the palm readers in the market called the life line. He had it after an accident with the maneuver gear, and Erwin wanted to show it to Levi, tell him it was the hand of someone who made mistakes, but that might only hurt the trust between them, perhaps. “This isn’t about my happiness, Levi.”

Levi shrugged a non-agreement, but Erwin continued: “You understand I can’t afford love.” Levi didn’t spare him even a terse nod at that, but it was enough that he was still listening. “I thought about marriage, once. Or to be honest, people around me made me think about marriage. You know Nile is an old friend.” Erwin gave a self-deprecatory smile. “Did he tell you about Mary?”

Levi’s silence could have been anything: understanding or lack of knowledge. 

“He did like her best. You should have heard the plans he had when he was drunk. A part of me actually balks at the idea that I thought then of how to use that. Ah, he had this idea that she liked me more, you see, so he thought if I were to pursue her, he wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

“Well, he wouldn’t have been able to do anything.”

“Mary has her own opinion about that, of course. She’s a good woman, and she deserves someone who loves her. But for me, she was not a person so much as…as a concept, one might say.”

Erwin saw the moment it started making sense to Levi, because he looked less displeased. “Meaning?” 

“She’s the normal life within the walls that we’re throwing away.” Erwin gave a small nod. “And the life we’re trying to protect. Beyond that, I can’t say I love her, not like Nile does.” Levi gave a soft snort, making the disgusted face he usually made when they were alone and Nile became the topic of conversation. Erwin chuckled at it, tension seeping away as he noticed that Levi wasn’t angry anymore. It made Erwin feel safe to continue, even if everything he had were only theories, suspicions. Hope.

“I’ve been wondering about this system since I was a child. A hundred years, and people hardly dare to question it. Why is it ‘normal’ for people to live within the walls? Supposedly, we have the grace of the gods to thank for that, but it’s strange for humanity to have the resources then to create walls to cage itself, if it had been on the brink of annihilation like in the history books. And the bigger question: what exactly are we fighting against?”

It was a question they couldn’t answer at that point. And without more information, an unsolvable riddle. 

“That’s blasphemy,” Levi said flatly after a while, his own version of a joke. Erwin laughed.

“We should make sure the Wall Cultists don’t hear of it then.” After a short silence, Erwin asked, “Did my mother put you up to this, Levi?”

Levi shrugged again, lips pressed together for a moment. “We just had a conversation. And we agreed on an investment.”

“The Survey Corps?” Erwin asked for confirmation.

But Levi only turned away, getting off Erwin’s desk and carefully shifting a book back to its previous position. He slunk to the door without waiting to be dismissed, but before opening it looked over his shoulder, his glance more open but somehow more difficult to read. 

“Your…” Levi started to say, voice lighter and thus wrong. He stopped, and his voice after had its usual flat tone. “If it doesn’t matter to you, then it doesn’t matter anymore. Except she lost the bet.” Levi turned the knob, breath going out in an almost soundless sigh. “At least we’re getting horses after this,” he said, before closing the door after him.

\--

Erwin’s mother had the small case with the pin open, and she was toying with the pin inside when Erwin came to see her. 

“I heard they used to send a finger to prove they kept up their part of the contract,” she said almost immediately. Gruesome interest was absent from her voice though, so Erwin took it to mean that they were conducting business now. “There must be many false stories about Lower Sina, but your cat said that much was true. If that was what the client wanted, that is.”

“You didn’t ask for a finger?” Erwin asked, smiling. His mother’s small smile somehow conveyed distaste without shifting a fraction.

“It was enough to ask for the impossible.” The case was suddenly snapped shut. Erwin’s mother put it down on the table, eyes idly scanning the covers of the books in front of her, titles Erwin didn’t recognize. “Should I tell you? Two weeks ago, Dietz threatened to expose the truth. That he was hired for the sole purpose of keeping her suitors away.”

“Blackmail?”

“Not so uncommon. So when Letia found out, we thought about a less temporary solution. But her daughter wanted to take care of it herself. That is how youth is, I suppose.” She gave Erwin a pointed look, which Erwin ignored. 

“And since two weeks ago, Dietz has been hard to find or get alone. He was being circumspect too late. He probably thought he could afford the constant guards now, or else realized how foolish he had been.”

“Even if he exposed that the princess didn’t want to marry, it wouldn’t have been such a scandal. Why silence him?” _And why would he himself expect to be silenced?_ It didn’t seem like the sort of information to kill for. The duchess’ daughter might have problems finding a match for a while if the story was brought to light, but if that was what she wanted, it didn’t make sense to stop such a story from circulating. In fact, she could have gotten her men to spread similar rumors herself, removing whatever hold Dietz might have had on her.

“Oh, because he also brought up a different scandal.”

Erwin waited, but she only said, “She has a pretty maid, doesn’t she?” The observation didn’t explain anything, and Erwin found himself blinking at the sudden change of topic. His mother gazed steadily at him, amused. Before he could dwell much on it though, his mother brought them back to Dietz. “He was asking for her hand in marriage in exchange for keeping quiet. Unreasonable, wasn’t he?” 

She talked then about Dietz’s guard detail. Guards everywhere he went. A house with a high wall, smooth with no handholds, and with no decorative eaves for a grappling hook. If Levi had gone there, he would have had to use the maneuver gear, and that would have left marks in the stone. The Military Police was not so unimaginative that they wouldn’t connect such evidence back to Erwin and Levi, who were conveniently visiting. Erwin felt a momentary rush of panic, quickly suppressed.

“As for the results of the investigation from this morning…” Erwin’s mother pulled out a note from under one of the books. “My eye said it was an inside job. Nothing has been found in or around the property to suggest an intruder came in. No weighed ropes, which would have left marks and which would have also attracted the guards anyway. One of the guards missing, so he must have run. Also, a missing cache of gold. They have no idea yet how much is missing. Dietz and all the other guards dead.”

“The guards…?”

“Five. Six if you count the one missing. The MP has decided that the man must have escaped to Lower Sina. Another angle being considered is whether that guard is one of the insurgents, and the missing gold will be used to fund their activities.”

Perhaps Levi had taken advantage of a guard actually committing the crime, and he hadn’t needed to do anything? That didn’t seem like Levi’s usual style, but Levi might have felt obliged to claim the crime since the Survey Corps had been promised something. But to consider how it would be possible: the missing guard might have tried to make off with the money, opened the gate, where Levi was waiting outside. Levi entered the gate, killed the other people, waited for the guard to get somewhere else before killing him…

“A mistake though,” Erwin’s mother said. “The missing guard is Dietz’s oldest guard, and his loyal supporter. I can’t imagine such a man betraying Dietz now, and at such an advantageous time for us. The MP seems to think that gold can make anyone turn traitor, but…” 

“Did you give him the information he used to break in?”

“I did.”

That was it then, his mother’s proof: not a finger, but a whole person. Erwin frowned, because the expression seemed so much better than smiling. Seven people, Erwin firmly reminded himself. But he thought about Levi sitting on his desk, hands scrubbed clean. Levi hesitating at the door.

“He said you made a bet with him.”

“Oh, it wasn’t about killing, if that’s what you were wondering about.”

“Levi isn’t someone who would make an idle bet like that. But it had something to do with me. What was it?”

His mother gave a little giggle. “I bet that married life would suit you,” she admitted easily enough. She folded her hands in front of her, shifting a little in her seat so she was facing Erwin more fully. “I thought he’d need a little push. I didn’t care either way what he decided, but, well, you might say I _wanted to know_. I promised funds, and told him what I expected to happen if he did do it, that he would be enabling you to marry her. So I said, ‘Why don’t we wager on my son’s happiness?’ If you were to marry and be content with that, I would win. If you were to choose otherwise, I said I wouldn’t mind handing you over to his care.”

Erwin lifted his brows at that. His mother gave that little laugh again, but didn’t keep him waiting for the continuation: “But he said, ‘I don’t need you giving me that sort of reward.’ He was very rude in saying it, too, as you can imagine.”

“He must have been more interested in the horses,” Erwin remarked. He shook his head, rueful, thinking of his mother offering the bait like that, and Levi faithfully biting. “…You didn’t think this would end with marriage with the princess, did you?”

“Of course not,” Erwin’s mother said, voice perfectly amicable. Her eyes on Erwin held a little amusement. “We only need a convenient figure. Survey Corps being what it is, Erwin Smith doesn’t want to marry and make such a young girl a widow. And for her, people will understand the adoration for a hero. They may think she’ll grow out of it, but she’ll be left alone for now.

“And then, given enough time for her to grow on her own, what they say in the future will no longer matter.”

Erwin shook his head, but it was merely reflex. He said, resigned, “I suppose a story like that will circulate after we leave here?”

There’s no real dismissal or good-bye. His mother merely turned her head away, still smiling. “Naturally.”

\--

The servants saw them off, the kitchen boy in front, waving earnestly. Levi had given him an awkward pat on the shoulder as they passed, and the boy had grinned at that. The older servants were more subdued, and remembered to bow to Erwin as he passed, muttering their well wishes. The servant girl Levi had met, ‘Fiorin,’ if Erwin remembered right, was watching discreetly from one corner. He thought she’d try to speak with Levi one last time, but she didn’t. And then back to his mother’s carriage. Leaving Sina was easier than getting in. The guards hardly glanced at their permit before allowing them to move on. Erwin thought he’d ask Levi only after they were safely back, but the ride was too long to not hold a conversation.

Levi removed the choice from him though, because as soon as they’d crossed the border, he made an impatient gesture with his hand, motioning for Erwin to move to one side of his seat. Levi promptly sat down beside him, and then leaned on his shoulder. Erwin tensed at that, and Levi clicked his tongue, muttered about “shitty hard muscles,” and then dropped his head onto Erwin’s lap instead, one visible eye narrowed at Erwin as if daring him to protest. Erwin sighed and patted him briefly on the shoulder, giving him the permission he didn’t wait for. 

And just as easily as that, Levi slept. 

Levi didn’t look more tired than he usually was, but he must have been up all night after all. To be honest, like this, he just looked small and not very dangerous. If not for his eyes, many would probably have believed that he was one of the recruits fresh from training. With his eyes closed like this though, head turned to the side, the small and delicate shell of his ear peeking out his hair, he looked…well, as vulnerable as a cat that was likely to shred someone’s hand for touching it. No, he didn’t look vulnerable at all. A little grumpy, and like he’d immediately wake up if Erwin poked him on the cheek. Erwin felt a strange urge to try, but he looked out of the carriage windows instead until the feeling passed.

The scenery soon disappeared behind rows of houses, the carriage swallowed by the first city of Wall Rose. Being back in Rose didn’t feel as comforting as he thought it would be, though the promise of horses and meat was something to look forward to. Later, there would be things to do. When he looked back at Levi again, Erwin found that he’d been unconsciously carding his fingers through Levi’s hair, and stopped, thankful that it didn’t seem to have woken Levi up.

He didn’t need to imagine Levi killing titans, having seen him do that time and time again, but the image of Levi killing people wouldn’t leave his mind. It was a hazy image at best. Levi was rough but still lenient, without any real malice. Surely, malice was needed to kill other people? Was it enough that Levi was practical?

“Are you really going to dirty your hands for me?” Erwin asked quietly, running his thumb over Levi’s brow. Levi gave a sleepy hum, and then opened his eyes.

“Ah.” Erwin retracted his hand when Levi looked up at his face. He could only hope Levi thought nothing of the gesture. “Did I wake you up?”

Levi said nothing for a while, just looked at Erwin. Then he put his hand down on Erwin’s thigh to push himself up. He settled beside Erwin instead of taking the other seat in front of him again. 

“I already clean your desk for you, right?” He sounded a little sullen as he crossed his arms over his chest, head tilted up so he could keep looking at Erwin.

“You were awake for that.” Erwin felt unaccountably embarrassed, but Levi himself didn’t seem to think it was embarrassing, so Erwin tried smiling. “But surely it’s not as dirty as Hanji’s desk?”

“I’m not even gonna touch that,” Levi agreed, frown darkening. “The next time you try to get me to sort through that shitty glasses’ unfiled reports, I’ll kill you.”

Erwin laughed, but bowed to show he understood. “I’m sorry.”

When Erwin continued smiling at Levi warmly, Levi turned his head away, the movement uncharacteristically stiff. Levi hadn’t given a straightforward answer, but his meaning was obvious enough. After a while, Levi leaned against him again and closed his eyes. Erwin couldn’t tell if he slept again, but this time, he didn’t disturb him. 

\--

Mike gave them one sniff and then looked a little troubled. When Levi slipped away, rounding up some of the men to no doubt start cleaning, Mike followed Erwin to his office, only broaching the subject when the doors were closed.

“What happened?”

“Well…” Erwin didn’t see the need to explain the full details. Mike could be trusted to keep it a secret, but judging from past experience, this was one of the cases that Mike would later mournfully say he didn’t want to know about. “Some pigs might be missing their skin.”

“MP, you mean?”

Mike was probably worried because Sina meant the Military Police, and Levi was hardly patient with them. “No.”

Mike breathed out a short sigh, relief and a small shred of disappointment at once. But that couldn’t be helped. Erwin hasn’t met anyone who’d joined the Survey Corps who ever warmed up to the MP.

Reminded of Dietz and his men though, Erwin turned to Mike, interested, stopping on his way to his desk. “He didn’t use the maneuver gear, did he?” Erwin asked.

“Can’t smell any of the oil from the gear, so probably no. But he already washed before you came here, right? Not his hair though.” Mike did not quite shrug, one finger rubbing under his nose. He gave Erwin a look. “Smells a lot like you, actually.”

“I thought I didn’t have any smell,” Erwin said, smiling. Mike shook his head. Even when Erwin had tried to get him to explain how exactly his sense of smell worked, Mike hadn’t been able to offer an explanation that made much sense to Erwin. There was the surface smell and the person’s smell, and the smell of emotions, all layered together, and somehow Mike could tell them apart.

“Just the clothes,” Mike said shortly. That made sense, given how Levi had spent the rest of the ride beside him. Then: “Did you finally…?”

There was scary hope in his voice, a tentative ghost-shove of a shoulder, the kind Mike had given him to urge him to speak with the barmaid when they’d been drinking together with Nile. Erwin had been able to see how easy it might be, to fall in love with her. It was that old soldier’s dream of normal things, and Erwin could tell, at least a little, what unfailingly human reaction Mike and everyone else expected from him. But then…

Erwin wasn’t really sure himself. What he’d told Levi earlier about her was true, in a way, but perhaps he’d made it seem more dramatic than it was.

_I don’t need that sort of reward,_ Levi had supposedly said. But he’d said it to Erwin’s mother. ‘I don’t need you giving me that sort of reward,’ was it? There were many ways to read that. Levi didn’t want that reward; the horses would do. He didn’t want that reward _from her_ , but he still wanted something.

Remembering Levi with his head resting comfortably on his lap though, Erwin laughed a bit. “Ah, he’d probably be content with a softer pillow…”

Mike’s look was more curious now, but Erwin just smiled off his earlier muttered comment. He could see Mike considering what to say, mouth closing over a half-muttered word. He seemed to think better of it though, giving a snort like a horse instead, as if he was trying to clear his nose. Erwin sat down behind his desk, feeling something close to relief that Mike hadn’t pushed it.

Levi was a lot of things to him, but before anything else, Levi was his soldier. Whatever Mike probably wanted to ask was the sort of barracks talk that the officers were not supposed to hear about, and Mike knew it. So now he was probably waiting for the next time they go out drinking. Best not to invite Pixis then.

Before he could ask Mike for a report of what had happened while they were out, Levi burst in the room without knocking.

“Erwin!” Levi looked ready to murder someone. Hanji trailed immediately after him, beaming a look at Erwin that was partly greeting and partly an unabashed call for help.

“Hey, Erwin! Levi! You’re both back!”

“This shitty glasses—”

“You won’t believe what I found out when—!”

“—let their pet titan out!”

“No, no…” Hanji waved a hand in an expansive gesture that made Levi frown more. “He’s properly secured!” Hanji turned to Erwin, babbling out a cheerful explanation. “No need to worry about it; he’s inside one of the rooms. Stuck there, really. It’s just that we didn’t realize he’d be harder to get out after, you see. I was just wondering about what reaction he can have to the chemicals, so…”

Erwin felt a headache coming on as Levi’s anger made more sense. “Where is it now?”

“In that room with the supplies,” Hanji admitted.

“It’s taken all my cleaning items hostage,” Levi added, with an almost imperceptible quaver in his voice. Erwin was mostly surprised that Levi hadn’t done anything himself when he’d first heard or seen. Maybe Levi was afraid of damaging anything in the storeroom if he acted now. 

Slowly, Erwin got up from his chair. “We better rescue the supplies then.” 

Levi nodded, satisfied, but Hanji became frantic, quickly taking a post in front of Erwin so he couldn’t easily leave. “Hey now. Heeeey now,” Hanji said with a laugh, hands moving like a pinwheel. “You can’t hurt him!”

“Well, since it’s come to this…” Erwin trailed off, watching Hanji’s face turn a worrying shade of gray. He looked at Levi, who frowned at the unspoken order but obediently waited, crossing his arms.

“What did you find out from that experiment?” Erwin asked kindly. “Can we gas them out?”

Hanji’s eyes lit up, before they looked a little dejected. “The titan’s metabolism is too quick.” So the effect was momentary at best. “His movements became a little uncoordinated, but he didn’t stop moving. Maybe if there was a greater amount…”

“So we can’t use that,” Erwin mused. It wasn’t exactly a disappointment, just an affirmation that they were using the best weapons that they could at this point. Setting aside how the crown was not likely to accept a chemical weapon that could be used on people with more success, they had no way of isolating titans outside the walls. And if they used some sort of chemical bomb to halt the titans’ movement, they couldn’t move in for the kill either. A weapon like that could only be used as a means to escape from the titans, and could easily backfire if the wind literally blew in the wrong direction. 

“Shitty glasses,” Levi cut in. “Just how many of the supplies are left?”

Hanji didn’t even need to answer, grin turning sheepish.

“Oi, Erwin!” 

Erwin raised his hands, trying to be placating. “For the time being, Mike, could you accompany Hanji and check what we can salvage? And Hanji,” Hanji gave a grateful nod as Erwin continued, “You have twenty minutes to figure something out with your men. You can only try it if Moblit agrees with it. After that, Levi has permission to deal with the titan.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be done before that! He’s a really good kid, you know,” Hanji said, blushing at the thought of the titan. Levi spared Hanji a dour look for the statement. “Ah, but maybe this is what they call the rebellious phase? Haha, I’ll get him out now, so just wait! Twenty minutes; remember you promised _twenty minutes_ , all right?”

Hanji quickly headed out the door, slamming it. Mike shot Erwin a pitying look, giving a short nod of apology for not having stopped Hanji before opening the door and closing it more carefully. That left Levi, who was now glaring at Erwin for the earlier betrayal.

“Well, let’s allow Hanji to try something first.” Erwin retook his seat, while Levi came closer to the desk, frowning down at the new reports. “I have a feeling you’ll just mourn those supplies if you do see what’s happened to them.”

“I’ll take revenge for them first.”

“We can free up some of the budget anyway. If we can trust on the princess’ donation, there’d be enough to buy new cleaning items.”

Levi nodded at that, expression softening at the promise. Erwin regarded him a bit curiously, thinking back to what he’d been asking Mike earlier.

“My mother said there was no maneuver gear involved,” Erwin finally broached the topic, watching as Levi took one of the topmost papers from the pile. Levi hummed an affirmative, glancing at whatever was written disinterestedly.

“Because it wasn’t necessary.” Just the short phrase, and the tone wasn’t even boastful.

“Levi, they were saying the wall couldn’t be scaled.”

“Dumb shits probably just looked at it and thought they couldn’t do it,” Levi said with an impatient click of his tongue. “Not surprising, since those MP just sit on their asses all day anyway.” He looked at Erwin then, seemingly surprised he even wanted to hear about it, if his blank expression was anything to go by. He did settle more comfortably against Erwin’s desk though as he told the story. 

“Sina bastards have more space between their houses, and this guy with the house nearest to that pig’s went for a lavish garden around his house, probably thought he was some clever poet or something. Even had a couple of huge trees and everything, and not the clipped shit with hardly any branches left on them.” 

Whoever owned the property must have been fairly rich and whimsical. Despite what Levi said about there being more space in Sina, most of the houses still ranged close to each other and didn’t have walls to keep their property separate. But rather than the absence of walls being a lack of luxury, the people probably also unconsciously avoided the reminder that, for all the wealth inside Sina, they were trapped inside it. Dietz, though, who even before this business was not a very likeable individual, had needed walls for an added bit of safety, while his neighbor went for something ostensibly more ‘natural.’

Levi made a face, his expression somewhere between incredulous and grudgingly appreciative. “It was like a setup, I almost didn’t trust it. After making sure there was no one around to see, I got to one of the trees almost as tall as Dietz’s wall, used a stable branch to swing, and jumped.” He set aside the report he’d been reading, glance going to the ones left on the pile. “Well,” he continued, when he saw Erwin still waiting for the rest of his explanation. “It was manageable.”

Manageable, when the distance from any point outside the wall to the wall was far from negligible at all. Probably most people wouldn’t be able to do it. And normal people would also be afraid of falling if they don’t manage to hold onto the top of the wall. “So you were able to reach the wall,” Erwin allowed. “And then?”

“And then,” Levi repeated flatly. “It was pretty much Lower Town business. Do you really need to know?”

“Well, when you put it like that…”

Erwin must have still looked curious though, because after glaring at Erwin, Levi added details. “The actual job was done in minutes. It was cleaning it up that took forever. Just don’t expect to get any of that pig’s money. Silence is expensive after all. And I had a bunch of guys in Lower Town I needed to help.” Levi shrugged, shifting the report idly to his other hand. “Would have been a hassle to smuggle out gold anyway, and I was getting paid, so I figured we didn’t need it.”

Erwin gave a small “hmm” of agreement. Levi continued watching him for a moment more, then turned away. 

“Small things like that don’t need to concern the commander,” Levi finally said, matter-of-fact, glaring emptily ahead. “Whatever you think, they’re not included in your tally.”

“Ah,” Erwin said, wondering how Levi knew. Or it was probably only to be expected to keep a list of the people who’d died for their cause. All the ones who’d helped them, the soldiers who had given up their lives for a faint hope. “Yes. Otherwise, it would be disrespectful, wouldn’t it?”

“If there’s going to be punishment for this,” Levi continued, tone sober, including all the crimes that haven’t happened yet that he was prepared to do, “I can just disappear. After all this is over.”

Accepting the crimes and running away with the responsibility, leaving behind a tarnished scrap of a name, and the world too big to find him again. Something about that gave Erwin a strange feeling of panic, even as the logical part of his mind reminded him things could end in other ways, too. They could very well die in one of the expeditions, so there could be no ‘after,’ no way for Levi to leave even if they have somehow won. But the thought of Levi leaving was somehow more frightening. If there was a future like that… if there could _be_ a future…

“That’s why you don’t need to worry, Erwin,” Levi went on. He gave a little sigh and rapped his knuckles against Erwin’s chest, head down. Not comfort but acknowledgment. “Just think about your plan for the Survey Corps. I’ll follow you." 

“Thank you, Levi.” Before he could hesitate, Erwin wrapped his hand over Levi’s, pressing hard to feel the contact, before running his fingers over the knuckles almost absently. He found himself saying, “But I wish you’d stay after, too.”

Erwin looked up from Levi’s hand to find Levi staring at him, lips compressed and eyes wide, as if he’d heard something very different from Erwin’s simple wish. Erwin stared back, worried he might have said something selfish, except Levi’s cheek twitched, then the corners of his mouth pulled up. The unusually soft expression had Erwin drawing in a quick breath, on the edge of some sort of revelation.

But the moment stretched with nothing else happening. In twenty minutes, Hanji and Mike would be back, or other people could come in with their own concerns. But after, maybe… Yes, after, Erwin promised himself, not thinking of Mike or his mother now, just Levi with that new smile. 

Without any of the probably expected awkwardness, Levi stood up to make them tea, and Erwin picked up his pen and started to read through the reports.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a really long while to find the ending for this, and even now, I'm not entirely happy with it. I wanted to put in a fight scene, but somehow it refused to materialize as part of the story, because yeah, why did I follow Erwin's side of the story again...? And he didn't need to fight at all in this one! 
> 
> I hope this was still enjoyable for some people at least. Thanks to all who read this!


End file.
